


By the Lake

by deanislife



Series: Lake Vacation [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Established Relationship, M/M, Quiet love, Realizations, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-24
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-05-03 03:21:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5274629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanislife/pseuds/deanislife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part two of the Lake Vacation series. This time we see the boys through the eyes of an elderly caretaker by the lake. He feels drawn to the boys, but he can't figure out why. His interaction with them allows him to make a very important realization about his own family.</p>
<p>This was only going to be one story, but a request from a reader inspired me. There may be more coming.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. His Viewpoint

When I walked outside early this mornin', I saw 'em. Those young men that were rentin' out the Johnson cabin down the way. They were sittin' on the dock together. One of them was in a chair with a fishing pole. The other one was sittin' on the dock with his feet in the water. The one sittin' on the dock was leanin' back on his hands. He looked real comfortable. Looked like he was swingin' his feet back and forth. If his feet were movin' the water, there ain't no way the other one was gonna catch any fish. Didn't look too much like he cared though. He had a cup of coffee sittin' on the deck beside him. Looked more like he was just enjoying the mornin' then trying to catch anything. 

The one sittin' on the deck said somethin' that made the other one laugh. That was a nice, rich sound, that laugh. Reminded me of my son, that laugh. I wanted to hear that sound again. Been a long time since I heard my boy laugh. I told myself that I would make my way down there later on and introduce myself to them. Couldn't hurt anything. 

After I got my breakfast together and eaten, I kissed Maizie on the head and made my way down there to say hello. Maizie told me not to make a nuisance of myself, but I just felt drawn to those boys. It was like I needed to know them for some reason. I've trusted my gut for 68 years, and I wasn't about to not trust it now. 

As I got closer to the dock, I could hear the sounds of their voices. The one with the longer hair had a nice, rich soundin' voice, but the other one, the one with the laugh, he sounded like my boy. I told myself not to get sentimental and just be a nice neighbor. 

I cleared my throat as I got closer to let 'em know someone was comin'. 

"Uh, hello!" Said the one from the deck, standin' up and stretchin' out his hand. "I'm Sam."

"Hey there!" I replied shakin' his hand. "I'm Tom. I'm the full-time caretaker here on the lake. You boys need anythin' you let me know. I'm in that cabin right through those trees."

The other man stood and held out his hand as well.

"I'm Dean." He said in that low gravely voice. "Pleasure to meet you, sir."

"You boys rentin' the Johnson place, right?" I asked, tryin' to keep them talkin' to me.

"That's right," Dean responded. "We'll be here for four or five days. We haven't fully decided yet. They said we could have it for the whole week."

"Yep. That's what they told me, too." I smiled at him. "I just wanted to come over and say hello. Maizie, my wife, can answer any questions about town for you if you need. I'm not into that too much, but I can help with anythin' around here that needs fixin'."

"Thank you, sir." Sam replied. "I think everything is okay so far."

"Okay." I smiled again. "Just let me know if need anythin'."

"Will do." Sam smiled at me.

I turned around to head back. As I got closer to my own place, I looked back over my shoulder and saw that Sam had settled back down on the dock. He had scootched himself closer to Dean and was leanin' against Dean's leg, one arm draped over his thigh. Dean reached over and ran his fingers through the back of Sam's longish hair, then let his hand rest on Sam's arm. I scratched my head in confusion. I didn't know what to think about that. I thought they were brothers. They must be pretty close. I shrugged and continued on up to see about Maizie's list of "to-dos" for the day.

Maizie asked me how it went. I told her about the conversation and then got quiet.

"What's wrong?" She asked me. I never could fool that woman. She always knew when somethin' was botherin' me.

"I don't know." I said. "They just seem awfully close for brothers."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what brothers do you know who take a vacation together?"

"Well, maybe they haven't seen each other for awhile and just want to spend some quality time together." Maizie smiled at me. "You used to like your brother too ya'know."

I laughed and nodded. But it was still botherin' me. "But this seems different."

"Come on ol' man." Maizie laughed. "Sit down and talk to me. You know you won't let this go until you make sense of it. Let me help, if I can."

"Alright," I settled into a chair and sighed. "They were sittin' on the dock together when I walked down there. One on a chair, the other one on the dock with his feet in the water."

"Okay. I can see why that made you suspicious." She laughed. I made a face at her, and she laughed again. "Keep going. Sorry."

"Anyway! Dean, the one in the chair, had a fishin' rod, but he didn't look too int'rested in fishin'. Sam, the other one, got up and shook my hand. Then Dean shook my hand. Very polite and respectful. They called me sir, too. Don't get that from young'uns nowadays."

Maizie just grinned at me. When I didn't continue for a minute, she nodded. "Go on."

"Well, when I left..." I hesitated. I wasn't sure how she was gonna to react to what I was gonna say. I met her eyes and she nodded again. "I turned back around and they were kinda cuddlin'."

Maizie's eyes got a little bit bigger, but her smile never left her face. Then she asked, "Cuddlin'? What do you mean?"

"Well, Sam scootched over and was right up against Dean's leg. He had his arm over it. And Dean... well, he was running his fingers through Sam's hair. Then he put his hand on Sam's arm. Real cozy lookin'."

Maizie just grinned and shook her head. "Honey, I hate to break this to ya. But I don't think they are really brothers."

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"I mean that they are a couple." When she looked at my face, she smiled again. She reached over and patted my hand. "Sometimes when guys are together in a relationship, they say they are best friends or brothers, so people don't question why they spend so much time together."

"You mean... they're gay?" I asked.

"Yep!" She answered.

"Well, I'll be!" I said shaking my head again. "I don't think I've ever met a gay couple before."

Maizie laughed again and shook her head. "Oh yeah, you have! You just didn't know it. I think we need to work on your 'gaydar' honey."

"What are you talkin' about?" I was shocked. "And what the hell is 'gaydar'?"

"I'll explain later." She grinned at me again. "I think I'll walk down and say hello to those two. Would you mind if I invited them to dinner?"

"No. That's fine." I was still a little confused, but I felt like I needed to let it sit for a bit, so I got up and got movin' on my list for the day.

*****

As I was washin' up for dinner, I heard someone knockin' on the front door. Maizie was closer, so I kept doin' what I was doin'. I heard voices and then that laugh rang out through the house. I guess she invited those boys to dinner after all. I finished up and headed down the hall to the kitchen to see if I could lend a hand.

When I got there, Sam was leanin' against the counter, his feet crossed and his palms restin' on the countertop on either side of his hips. Dean was standin' at the stove stirring a pot. Maizie had her head in the fridge. I leaned against the doorway and just watched for a minute. 

Sam looked over and caught my eye. He noticed me right away. He smiled and nodded. I returned the gesture. Dean turned toward me a half beat later. He also smiled and nodded. I nodded to him, too.

Then Maizie turned around and shrieked. "Lord, Tom! Tryin' to give me a heart attack or something?"

I just grinned. One of the privileges of livin' with Maizie was my ability to give her a good scare every now and again. The boys started laughin'.

"They knew I was here, Maizie. Don't know why you didn't!" I laughed.

"Tom!" She popped me with the dish towel she had tossed over her shoulder. "Make yourself useful and get the plates on the table."

"I'll help!" Sam said standin' up straighter. Geez! But he was tall! I suddenly felt like a dwarf with my 5'9" stature.

"Alright, this way." I gestured toward the dining room and headed that way myself.

As we moved along, I couldn't help but watch Sam. He was really graceful for someone his size. He looked to be quite strong and seemed like he could be very quick when he needed to be. Great awareness and reflexes. But it seemed like he didn't want to take up too much space. Like he was always trying to be smaller and less noticeable than he was. An interesting mix.

As we worked I tried to make small talk, tried to get him to open up a bit. These two fascinated me, and I still couldn't figure out why.

"Everythin' alright? Down at the cabin?" I asked.

"Yes, sir! Everything is wonderful. We are really enjoying the space and spending time by the water. We don't get to do this that often. Always busy, you know?"

"Yep! I know how that is. A course, I'm always by the water. I got lucky that this was where the work was."

"Yes, sir, you did!" Sam laughed. "I wish I had that luck when I was looking for work."

"What kind of work do you do, Sam?" I asked.

"Oh, uh, Dean and I run a business together. We travel a lot."

"I see." But I didn't see. They ran a business together. They traveled a lot. But I still didn't know what they did or why they were vacationin' together too. I think if I worked with someone everyday, I'd want to vacation somewhere else. Away from that someone. 

"Y'all got in yesterday, di'ntcha?" I asked.

"Yes, sir!" Sam answered. "We picked up the keys, put our stuff down, and headed into town to get some groceries. Nice little place! When we got back we just relaxed in the cabin for a bit. Got out last night and watched the sky for a bit. It was nice."

"Yeah, it's pretty quiet out here." I smiled. 

"How long have you lived here?" Sam asked me. I guess turnabout was fair play. I asked him, now he got to ask me.

"Been here 'bout twenty years, I guess." I answered, having to think. "Maizie and I needed a change of venue around about that time. Needed some peace and quiet. This was about the best place to land."

"Hmm." He responded. "How long have you two been together?"

"Nigh on forty years now." I chuckled, rememberin' the scared boy that I was when I asked her to marry me. A decision I have never regretted.

"Wow!" Sam breathed. "That's great! Congratulations!"

"We were high school sweethearts. I was twenty, scared out of my head the day I popped the question. I always felt like she was too good for me. That she deserved better, ya'know?"

Sam nodded in return.

"She told me that I was the one she wanted. Coulda pushed me over with a feather when she told me that. Never woulda believed it."

Sam smiled at me with a twinkle in his eye. "I know what you mean."

"Tom! Head on in here, please!" Maizie called from the kitchen. I meandered back that way with Sam close behind me. 

"Whatcha need?" I called.

"Where did I put that corkscrew?" She asked, a bit flustered. I got the feelin' that she wanted to make a good impression on these boys. She liked 'em just like I did. I still couldn't figure out why though. There was just somethin' about 'em that I was drawn to. Seems like Maizie was too. "I think it's in the junk drawer."

"Oh! Of course!" She laughed. Dean was holding the wine bottle and had a soft smile on his face. It seemed like he was enjoyin' his talk with Maizie. He seemed comfortable. 

Maizie quickly located the corkscrew and handed it off. Dean quietly worked on the wine bottle. Once he got it open, he handed the bottle to me.

"Here ya go!" He smiled. "I leave the wine pouring duties to the man of the house."

"No need! We don't stand on formalities around here." I said smiling at him. That voice! So much like Mike's. My heart gave a little stutter. I set the wine on the table and excused myself. I felt my eyes getting' full and needed a moment to clear my head. 

I could hear Dean askin' if he had said something wrong. I didn't want to offend the young man, but I just got overwhelmed. I could hear Maizie saying somethin' in return, but I couldn't hear what she said. I wondered if she understood what I was feelin'. I thought maybe she did.

I quickly pulled myself back together and headed back into the kitchen just in time to see the last bowl of food headed into the dining room in Maizie's capable hands. She saw me comin' and just smiled at me. 

"Grab the wine!" She whispered.

I did and made my way into the dining room. "Sorry about that! Wine, guys?"

Dean caught my eye and lifted his glass toward me. Sam said, "Yes, please!"

As I poured, I looked at what Maizie had whipped up. Sittin' on the table was her very best meal. Herb-roasted Chicken, green beans almondine, and her famous herb-roasted potatoes. She also had rolls and a fresh salad. She really wanted to impress these kids.

"Ms. Maizie!" Sam said appreciatively. "This looks amazing!

"You're not kidding!" Dean stated. "It smells amazing, too! This is awesome!"

"Well, dive in, boys! It ain't doing nothin' but gettin' cold." Maizie said, smilin' at both of them. She looked so happy.

I caught her eye and raised my eyebrow at her. Tryin' to figure out why she was so int'rested in tryin' to impress these two. She just shrugged with a twinkle in her eye.

Dinner was a success. Conversation was general but interesting. Both boys spoke well and were obviously very intelligent. Dean seemed to try to pass himself off as less intelligent than he really was, but Maizie and I could see right through that. He was a very smart young man! And once I got him talkin' about his car, I could see that he was a man who enjoyed usin' his hands. Sam seemed a bit more bookish. He and Maizie had a great time decipherin' some sort of classic novel that they both had read and loved. 

"I'll have to come up and see that Baby of yours while you boys are here," I laughed. 

"Yes, sir!" Dean smiled. "I'd love to show her off to someone who appreciates fine classic automobiles. Sammy here doesn't understand the importance of a good, strong American classic."

"That isn't true and you know it, Dean!" Sam laughed. "I appreciate that car more than you will admit. I just don’t understand your obsession with it."

"Her, Sammy! Her!" Dean grinned. He winked at Sam at that point, and Sam just grinned.

"So! What do you fellas do for a livin'?" Maizie asked.

"Uh..." Sam started. 

"We're exterminators." Dean answered. 

"Huh" I grunted. "Sam said you guys traveled together for your jobs."

"We do." Dean continued. "We're, uh, specialists. When the job is too tough for the locals, we go help out. We deal with things that most people wouldn't want to face."

"Right!" Sam chimed in. "We picked up the family business from our father who taught us everything we know."

"I see." I said making eye contact with Maizie. _Brothers!_ I thought at her. She just smiled and shook her head. "So you boys travel a lot? In your Baby?"

"Yep!" Dean answered. 

"That car is a home to us." Sam smiled looking slightly sad. "Only real home either of us have ever had."

"Well, let's let our dinner settle a bit, and then we'll get some of that delicious looking pie you brought us, Sam!" Maizie said.

"Pie?" I asked. "I love pie!"

"Me, too!" Dean laughed. "I knew I liked you, Tom!"

We all pushed back from the table and made our way outside to sit under the tree in the yard and watch the moonlight on the lake for a bit. Dean and Sam sat together on the bench seat while Mazie and me took our usual chairs by the table. 

"We wanted to thank you both for inviting us over tonight." Sam said softly. "We don't get to just visit with people that often. It has been a very nice change for us."

Dean began noddin' his head while Sam was talkin'. 

"Well, that's just a shame." Maizie said. "You two are really sweet boys. You need to be able to get a chance to know people."

Dean smiled at her and mumbled his thanks. Sam just smiled.

After a few minutes of just simply sittin' and enjoyin' the night, Maizie stood up and asked Sam to help her out in the kitchen for a bit. She wanted to get the coffee going and the dishes picked up before they cut into that pie. 

As Sam walked away, Dean called out. "Don't forget to save a piece for Maggie! We promised!"

Sam waved in acknowledgement and continued to follow Maizie.

"Maggie?" I asked. "From the grocer's?"

"Yeah," Dean answered. "We met her yesterday while we were getting our groceries. When I mentioned the pie that is Sam's specialty, she seemed interested. I promised her I'd take her a piece for being so nice to us."

"Maggie is a good girl." I answered. "She's had a bit of a rough patch lately, but she seems to be comin' out of it again. She's tough, that one!"

"Oh yeah?" Dean asked. He seemed genuinely interested. "What happened?"

"She was dating this guy from the next town over. Things got weird between 'em. He wasn't answerin' her messages right away. Wasn't callin' her back. Stuff like that. She went to see him without tellin' him she was comin', and found him with another girl. He didn't even try to deny it. Just said he never loved Maggie anyway. She was just a placeholder until he found somethin' better. A real jackass, if you ask me."

"I agree!" Dean said. He seemed genuinely upset. "What a dick!"

I laughed out loud at that. Catchin' Dean off guard.

"Oops! Sorry about that!" Dean smiled. "I guess I'm not used to polite company. Like Sam said. We don't get much chance to just socialize all that often."

"No need to apologize!" I said. "I just didn't expect it is all." I waited a minute and then asked, "So you guys travel together and then vacation together, too? You must spend a lot of time together."

"Yeah," Dean answered. "We do."

"If I spent that much time with my brother, I think I'd kill 'em."

"Well, with the work we do, the traveling, the limited opportunity to meet people, we depend on one another. It's probably weird by other people's standards, but for us it's normal. I can't imagine going for too long without seeing that oversized geek. He's my best friend, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it." I said softly. "My son had a best friend like that, too."

"You said 'had.' What happened?" Dean asked quietly. "If you want to talk about it, that is."

"Mike, my son, was best friends with a young man from the town where we lived. They grew up together. Best friends since the third grade. Wherever you saw Mike, you saw Andrew. When they got to high school, things got harder. Mike was on the football team. Andrew was more interested in books. They still worked to spend as much time together as they could. Other boys picked on them about their friendship. They would just laugh it off. Then college happened. They picked the same school, were roommates, all that. They stayed very close until toward the end of their Senior year. I don't know what happened, but they had a fallin' out. Andrew moved out and Mike got depressed. He wouldn't talk about it. Just kept saying he was fine. But Maizie and I knew he wasn't fine. Andrew had always been so important to Mike. We knew he must be lonely and so sad. But he wouldn't talk to us."

Dean leaned forward. When I looked up at him, he had a stricken look on his face. I cleared my throat and kept going.

"They both graduated. Andrew went off to Chicago. We only knew that because of what happened next. Mike decided to join the military. He was gone to Boot Camp when we got the call from Andrew's parents. Andrew had been killed in a car accident. They needed to know Mike's address 'cause Andrew had left somethin' for him. We passed the info along, but asked if we could be the ones to tell Mike what happened. They said sure, but they wanted to send the package as soon as possible."

I had to stop for a second. I knew I needed to finish the story, but this was so hard to say.

"Maizie was the one to tell Mike. I was in the kitchen when she finally got a call through to him. He was all torn up. He kept sayin' it was his fault. That they never got to talk it out. That Andrew hated him. I still don't know what happened to make them go their own ways, but Mike kept sayin' that he'd never get the chance to say he was sorry. Maizie told him to go find somebody to talk to about it. He said he would. Then he got the package from Andrew's parents. It was a ring that Andrew wore during college. Mike had one just like it that he wore all the time. When he got Andrew's ring, he took a picture of it on his hand beside the one he always wore and sent it to us. The next day, he went out on a routine training exercise. They were using explosives. His friends on his squad said that he wasn't himself that day. He seemed disoriented. He walked right into the grounds when they fired off the explosives. He got hit in the chest with shrapnel 'cause he wasn't in the safe zone. He died soon after that. One of his friends said that Mike just kept apologizing. That was probably the worst day of my life."

Dean put his hand on my shoulder. He roughly patted me a couple of times and then sat back in his chair.

"I'm so sorry." He said in his voice that was so much like Mike's.

I shrugged and said that there wasn't anything anyone could have done. If Mike wanted to go, he would have found a way.

"You sound like 'em." I told Dean. "When you laugh. Sometimes when your voice goes really gravely and deep. You sound like 'em."

"Shit, Tom!" Dean grunted. "I'm sorry."

"No! Dean, don't apologize." I said. "I miss him. But you brought a piece of him back to me. Thank you for that."

Dean cleared his throat and wiped a hand over his face. He pinched the bridge of his nose and then looked off toward the lake.

"You guys can come on in now!" Maizie called from the back door. "We have a delicious smelling pie in here just waiting for you two pie hounds!"

"I guess we need to head in." I said. "You okay?"

"I should be asking you that question." Dean answered softly. 

"I'll be fine." I answered. "Come on! Let's go before they come after us. I could use a slice of pie with some ice cream on top."

"I'll be there in a minute." Dean answered then cleared his throat again.

"You sure?" I asked.

"Yep! Would you send Sammy out here, please?"

"Sure!" I said as I stood stretching my back out. "Just let me get myself mobile again."

When I got in the house, I told Sam that Dean needed to speak to him for a minute. Then I helped Maizie finish getting the cups and saucers together. As we worked on the serving of pie and coffee, Maizie kept glancing out the window. As I moved behind her to see what she was lookin' at, I saw Dean standin' with his face pressed into Sam's chest. Sam had his arms wrapped around him and was gently stroking Dean's back. I could see tears slidin' down Sam's face. It looked like Dean was shaking. 

Maizie just smiled. I tugged her away from the window and told her that spying on people was rude and she should know better. I looked back one more time before I walked away and saw Dean look up at Sam. Dean's face was wet. Sam traced his thumbs over Dean's face gently and then leaned down and kissed him. My face went hot and I moved quickly away from the window. 

"I guess you were right, Maize." I said bewildered. "I guess those boys are gay."

"I told you!" Maizie fussed. "Does it change the way you feel about them?"

"What?" I asked. "No! Of course not! They're good boys!"

"Good!" She said and popped me with the dish towel. "You make sure you don't let 'em know that you know. Not until, if, they decide to tell us. We don't know nothin'. You hear me?"

"Yes, yes." I replied. "I'm not sayin' nothin'."

I could hear 'em comin' up the stairs to the back door. I tried to breathe through it, but I was having some trouble. I hurried off down the hall toward the bedroom to give myself a minute. I heard their voices in the kitchen and Maizie happily buzzing around.

I looked at myself in the mirror on the closet door and saw the shock on my face. I needed to get this under control or I was goinna blow it. If I blew it, Maizie was gonna kill me. I stood there for a few minutes trying to calm down. Finally, I felt better and made my way back down the hall. 

Dean looked up when I entered. He was standing right beside Sam. Their legs were pressed together along the side and Sam's hand was behind Dean on the counter. They couldn't have been much closer together without being on top of one another. I suddenly remembered seeing Andrew and Mike standing that way countless times in our kitchen at the old house. I remembered how they always sat close together on the couch. How they loved to bump into each other and hold on to the other's arm as they moved through the house. Then I remembered Maizie sayin' that I knew a gay couple but didn't realize it. 

I felt the world go gray on the edges and I was lookin' for a place to sit down. It had hit me! Mike and Andrew were a couple, too. Oh my God! How dumb was I? Mike and Andrew really loved each other. Mike had done something to screw it up, and Andrew died before he could apologize. Mike had been so devastated that he had killed himself. I'm an idiot!

I looked at Maizie then. She had tears in her eyes as she looked at me. She nodded at me. She knew! And she didn't say anything! Then I looked at Sam and Dean. They had worried looks on their faces.

Dean moved toward me with his hand out. 

"Tom!" He said. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah!" I managed to choke out. "I'm good." I patted his hand where it was resting on my shoulder. "I'm good. Let's eat some pie!"

Sam was hovering behind Dean with his hand on Dean's back.

"You sure, Tom?" Sam asked. "We can wait if you need a minute."

"No, no!" I replied feeling utterly at a loss. "I've taken too much time as it is."

Maizie moved toward me and hugged me. She kissed me on the top of my head and moved away. 

"Let's just sit here in the kitchen, boys!" Maizie said with a smile. "I think Tom is good right where he is."

Everyone sat at the four person table. Dean and Sam sat closely together. And from the looks of things, Sam had his hand on Dean's leg. But I wasn't gonna say a word. I'd been blind for years. I could pretend to be blind for a little while longer.

And anyway! The pie was delicious!


	2. The Boys' Viewpoint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story of Tom's realization as seen through the eyes of Sam and Dean. What realization does Dean reach?

Dean was sitting outside of the cabin on the dock that stretched out onto the lake. He got up early this morning, so he could enjoy some quiet time with just the water noises and the birds waking up around him. _This is probably the best place on earth,_ he thought to himself and sighed softly.

“Hey, babe!” Sam said sleepily behind him. “You sure got up early this morning.”

“Hey!” Dean responded quietly. Sam stooped over to place a kiss on Dean’s head and then handed him a cup of coffee. “Thank you!”

“No problem!” Sam yawned. He reached over and ran his fingers along Dean's shoulders. “I missed you in bed this morning.”

“Sorry about that!” Dean answered looking into Sam’s sleepy face. “I felt restless and wanted to enjoy a little bit of birdsong and water sounds.”

“I understand.” Sam said as he lowered himself to the decking. He sat cross-legged, his own cup of coffee nestled in his lap. “Do you mind if I stay? I’ll be quiet. I promise.”

“Of course you can stay!” Dean grumped. He reached out a hand and ran his fingertips along Sam’s jawline. “Just don’t scare the fish!”

Sam grinned up at him. He leaned against Dean’s leg a bit and ran his hand under Dean’s pants leg, caressing his calf. Dean groaned a little. “That feels heavenly.”

They sat in silence for a bit just watching the world wake up around them. Sam let the morning noises wash over him, eventually stretching his legs out in front, dangling his feet off the dock. He shifted a bit, removing his hand from Dean’s leg and leaning back on his hands.

“Now my leg is cold!” Dean complained.

“How do you think I felt waking up alone this morning?” Sam replied.

“Sorry about that!” Dean smiled. 

“That’s okay. You can make it up to me in a little bit.” Sam said suggestively.

Dean laughed heartily. Sam was such an adorable mix of shyness and sexiness that he always warmed Dean's heart. The last six months had been amazing for both men. Finally letting down those walls made up of fear had been the best thing either of them had ever done. It was awkward at first, but soon they both realized that no one else mattered more than each other. The stress fell away, and they were able to be more honest than ever before. 

Dean looked over at Sam as he watched the lake ripple. He looked so young and relaxed. This idea of a break from everything had been one of the best they had had.

"Sammy?" Dean started. His voice was soft, gentle.

"Yeah?" Sam answered softly.

"What's for breakfast?"

Sam laughed and bumped Dean's leg with his shoulder. "I'll go see what we've got."

"Thanks! I'm starving!"

Forty-five minutes later, fully fed with bacon and eggs in Dean's case and eggs and wheat toast in Sam's, they were back on the dock with no plans to do much else for the rest of the day. They chatted quietly about nothing important. Both boys were comfortable in their own skins and comfortable where they were at the moment.

They both heard someone approaching them from behind, and they stilled to listen. The sound of a loud throat clearing let them know that it was a friendly interruption. No one who meant them any harm would have made that much noise.

Sam lifted his long frame from the dock and turned around, while Dean simply turned his head. An older man was walking toward them. He had a small smile on his face and a very slight limp on his left side. He was comfortably dressed in work khakis and a denim work shirt. His brown work boots looked comfortably broken in and well taken care of.

"Uh, hello!" Sam said, holding out his hand. "I'm Sam."

"Hey there!" The man said, returning the handshake. "I'm Tom. I'm the full-time caretaker here on the lake. You boys need anythin' you let me know. I'm in that cabin right through those trees." He raised his hand and pointed into the distance where a quaint little cabin could barely be seen.

While the man was talking, Dean had made his way around his chair and now held his hand out. "I'm Dean. Pleasure to meet you, sir."

Tom took his hand and shook it while saying "You boys rentin' the Johnson place, right?"

"That's right," Dean said. He was getting a good feeling from this man, and the tension he had felt upon the man's approach was slowly fading. "We'll be here for four or five days. We haven't fully decided yet. They said we could have it for the whole week."

"Yep." Tom smiled. "That's what they told me, too. I just wanted to come over and say hello. Maizie, my wife, can answer any questions about town for you if you need. I'm not into that too much, but I can help with anythin' around here that needs fixin'."

Sam was also getting a good feeling from Tom. He seemed like a genuinely nice and helpful man. Sam smiled and said, "Thank you, sir. I think everything is okay so far."

"Okay," Tom responded. "Just let me know if need anythin'."

"Will do." Sam replied.

Tom turned and started heading back the way he had come. Dean settled back into his chair while Sam lowered himself back to the dock. Once he was sure Tom was on his way, Sam scooted closer to Dean. He threw his arm over Dean's thigh and leaned comfortably against Dean's leg. 

"God! I love this place!" Sam sighed. "Everything here is friendly!"

Dean puffed out a small laugh and lovingly ran his fingers through Sam's shaggy hair. He dropped his hand onto Sam's arm and ran his thumb back and forth on Sam's stupidly soft skin. He felt the same tingling in his stomach he always felt when they were close like this.

"I love this place, too!" Dean sighed. He leaned sideways and kissed Sam's nose. "What do you want to do today?"

"This." Sam smiled, looking up at his brother. "Just this. Forever."

"That sounds awesome!" Dean smiled back. "Wish we could."

"Yeah," Sam said sadly. "Me too."

"Sammy!" Dean growled. "C'mon, man! Don't drag us down. Let's enjoy what we've got right here, right now. Don't think about it until we have to."

"I know, Dean." Sam laid his head against Dean's leg. "Forget I said anything."

Dean lifted his hand from Sam's arm and ran his fingers through Sam's hair again. Now that he could do this, he wanted to do it all the time. Just play with Sam’s hair. He hoped Sam never cut it off. It was so Sam, and it was perfect.

***

Around mid-day, Sam was sitting on the porch reading a book while Dean was inside getting a shower. Sam was nicely relaxed after their morning by the lake and their mid-morning roll in the sheets. He was, however, having trouble concentrating on his book. Visions of Dean kept blowing across his mind. Dean’s beautiful green eyes, lust-blown and open, looking up at him. Dean’s freckles, scattered across his entire body, presenting the most amazing connect the dots ever invented. Dean’s strong hands gripping Sam’s hips… Sam huffed a sigh, shook his head smiling, and tried to refocus on the book in front of him.

He heard footsteps approach him from the path and looked up to see a women with shoulder length brown hair moving in his direction. As she got closer, he noticed a few gray streaks in her hair and the warm smile that lit up her face. Sam smiled in return and stood up. He placed his bookmark in position and laid his book down on the chair behind him.

“Hello!” she called as she got closer.

“Good afternoon!” Sam called back. He moved down the porch steps to greet her properly. He didn’t want to be too intimidating by combining his own height with the height of the porch. He instinctively placed himself on a patch of ground that was a little lower than where the woman was standing.

“I’m Maizie.” She stated. “I think you met my Tom earlier this morning.”

“Yes, ma’am, we did.” Sam replied. He held his hand out. “I’m Sam.”

“It’s good to meet you, Sam.” Maizie replied taking his hand. “How are things settlin’ in? Everything okay?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Sam replied. “Everything is great! This is an amazing corner of the world. We’ve had a very relaxing start to our vacation.”

“Good ta hear.” Maizie answered. “I was wondering if you boys would like to come up to ours for dinner this evening? I promise that we won’t be askin’ every day. I just thought it would be nice to get to know ya a bit.”

“That sounds nice.” Sam replied. “I’ll just need to check with Dean and see what he thinks.”

“Check with Dean about what?” came Dean’s voice through the screen door. He opened the door and made his way down the stairs toward Sam and Maizie. Dean had heard voices and thought it would be best to make his presence known to whoever was outside with Sam.

Sam looked over at him and beamed. Dean’s hair was still wet and his face was slightly flushed from his shower. He looked fresh and relaxed, and that made Sam extremely happy. Sam just wanted to grab Dean and hold him tight to his chest and never let him go. 

“Dean, this is Maizie!” Sam grinned. “She has invited us to join her and Tom for dinner at their place tonight. What do you think?”

Dean checked Sam’s expression. He could tell right away that Maizie had made a good impression on Sam. Tom had already made both boys feel relaxed, so Dean thought why not?

“Sure! That sounds great!” Dean replied winking at Sam before turning toward Maizie and meeting her eyes with his own. “But only if you let us bring dessert. Sam makes an amazing Sour Cream Apple Pie that I know you will love.”

Sam reached out to Dean and lightly pushed his shoulder. Even with Maizie standing there, he needed to touch Dean somehow. He moved a little bit closer to Dean and took his customary place just behind and to his left side. Dean relaxed even more with Sam behind him.

“Well, that sounds heavenly!” Maizie responded watching the boys interact and move together. “I certainly couldn’t pass that up if I tried.”

“What time would you like us there?” Sam asked.

“I’d say around 6:00 should do.” Maizie smiled. “That’ll give Tom time to finish his list and get himself cleaned up. I’ll see you fellas then.”

“Thanks, Ms. Maizie!” Dean said. 

Both boys watched as she turned and walked back toward her home. Dean reached his hand backward toward his brother and took Sam’s hand in his own. Sam tugged Dean toward him and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist from behind him. Placing his nose in Dean’s clean hair, he breathed in the smell of Dean’s shampoo. Dean sighed happily and rested his head onto Sam’s shoulder. 

“She seems nice.” Dean said softly.

“Yeah,” Sam breathed into Dean’s ear. “She does.”

“She said 6:00?” 

"Yeah."

“How much time do you need for your pie?”

“Mmmm…” Sam breathed, pressing his nose to Dean’s temple. “Let me think…”

“Mmmm…” Dean sighed, turning around to face Sam and hold him closer.

“Maybe, a couple of hours.” Sam pressed his lips to Dean’s forehead. “Are you hungry now?”

“Yep, but not for lunch.” Dean whispered, turning his head to the side in order to reach Sam’s throat. “Let’s go see what we can rustle up.”

“You are insatiable!” Sam smirked. He slid his hands up Dean’s chest and locked his fingers behind Dean’s neck. “I love it!”

Dean smiled and gently kissed Sam’s throat again. He hooked his fingers through Sam’s belt loops and tugged Sam forward as he maneuvered them towards the stairs. Sam’s legs bracketed Dean’s as they awkwardly made their way into the cabin without letting each other go, gently kissing each other as they went.

***

Later that afternoon, Dean helped Sam prepare the apples. As he peeled and sliced, he hummed quietly. Sam tilted his head to the side, trying to figure out what song was running through Dean's head. It finally clicked into place as he turned to grab the brown sugar from the counter behind him.

"Zepplin, huh?" Sam said softly. "Should have known."

"Of course, Sammy! Zepplin rules!" Dean smiled over at him. He looked into Sam's eyes and sang the next verse for him. "And so today, my world it smiles. Your hand in mine, we walk the miles. Thanks to you it will be done, for you to me are the only one."

Sam grinned over at his brother. "Damn Dean! You _are_ a romantic!"

"What? You think I'm a Neanderthal, don't you?"

"Nope! You _are_ the King of 'no chick flick' moments, though."

"That was before." Dean looked back down at the apple he was cutting, suddenly serious.

"Before what?" Sam asked, trying to draw Dean out a little more. He moved over to where Dean was standing and stood at Dean's side, facing him. 

"Before I realized all the layers of how much you really mean to me, Sammy." Dean mumbled.

"You know how much I love you, don't you?" Sam whispered, leaning into Dean, his chest against Dean's shoulder, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. 

"No," Dean smirked without looking up. "How much?"

"You are my everything." Sam whispered. "If anything happened to you that I couldn't fix, I honestly don't know what I would do. I can't exist without you in my world. It doesn't make sense without you there with me. If you stopped, I would stop."

Dean tilted his head toward his brother and closed his eyes. "Thank you, Sammy!"

"No need to thank me, Dean. It's the truth." Sam placed another gentle kiss on Dean's cheek and then moved away to finish up the mixture for the apples.

Dean watched Sam's back muscles move as he stirred together the mixture. Dean felt tears prick his eyes as he thought about what Sam had said. That is exactly how Dean felt about Sam, but he could never express it like that. As a matter of fact, he hardly ever told Sam that he loved him at all. He always felt inadequate when it came to that sort of stuff. 

When Sam spoke about his feelings, the words just seemed to roll off of his tongue. Dean, however, stopped and started and stuttered through it. He wished he could just tell Sam all of the ways that his life had gotten better since they began this. He just couldn’t seem to say it all out loud.

He shook his head and went back to his apples.

***

Sam carried the pie in one hand and Dean held his other hand as they made their way through the trees to Tom and Maizie's at the appointed time. Before they knocked on Tom and Maizie's door, Sam gave Dean a quick kiss and a huge smile, dimples and all. Dean's breath caught as he felt a burst of Sam's love wash over him. He raised Sam's hand to his lips and pressed them to the back of Sam’s hand and then let go.

"Let's do this." He stated.

Sam turned and knocked on the door, patiently waiting for Maizie to answer. As he heard her approaching, he quickly ran his fingers down Dean's arm and lightly brushed his fingertips along Dean's inner wrist before the door opened.

"Hello boys!" Maizie smiled out at them. "Didn't get lost did you?"

They laughed in return as she stepped aside and let them in the door.

"We had our doubts for a moment there, Ms. Maizie." Sam quipped. "Thought we were gonna be late with all that traffic."

Maizie gave them an honest laugh in return and took the pie out of Sam's hands. She welcomed them in and showed them through to the kitchen where dinner was cooking and smelling wonderful. Dean immediately stepped up to the stove and asked if he could help. Maizie handed him a spoon and told him to stir the green beans for her. Sam stayed out of the way by leaning against the counter on the other side of the kitchen. 

As Maizie began to bustle around making last minute adjustments and decisions, Sam felt another presence approach from his left. Glancing that way he saw Tom making his way down the hall. He made eye contact and nodded at the older man. Tom had a twinkle in his eye, so Sam decided not to make any sort of verbal acknowledgement of Tom's presence. Dean turned quickly and took in Tom's presence as well. About that time, Maizie turned away from the refrigerator, saw Tom and shrieked. Tom just grinned with a devilish look on his face. Apparently, this was a favorite past time for him. At least from the way Maizie was fussing at him it was. The boys just laughed.

While the older couple was interacting, Dean shot Sam a look across the kitchen that said _that will be us one day_. Sam's returning look said, _yeah, if we're lucky and live that long_. Dean shook his head and looked away, and Sam instantly regretted his thought. Dean had already told him to let them have this and not bring them down, and here he was doing it again. 

When Maizie told Tom to make himself useful, Sam volunteered to help and moved out of the kitchen behind Tom. This left Dean in the kitchen alone with Maizie. 

"Alright, Dean. That's good." Maizie said looking into the pot on the stove. "Help me put things into serving dishes?"

"You don't have to do all that." Dean stated. "We don't need to dirty anything extra. We'll be fine to serve out of the pots. We do it that way all of the time."

"All the more reason to use the serving dishes tonight." Maizie determined. "I don't get to entertain that often, so let me make this nice for you boys."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Dean. I'm sure. Now reach up there and grab that bowl for me." She directed.

Dean did as was requested and smiled. Even though he didn't expect such nice treatment, he was secretly glad that Maizie wanted to make this special for him and his brother. He thought he was really going to enjoy having a "family" meal with these folks. They were both very kind. It made him realize how their lives could have been if things had been different. He shook his head to knock those thoughts out of his head. He wanted to be present in the moment and not dwell on what could have been. He was happy with how things were now for him and Sam. If things had worked out differently, he wouldn't have Sam the way he did. He wasn't willing to give that up for anything.

"So Dean!" Maizie smiled. "I take it you are the older one."

"Yes, ma'am!" Dean answered. "I'm a little over four years older than Sam."

"I take it you boys are close."

"Well," Dean answered. "We work together, we travel together, and we sleep in the same motel room every night. I guess you could say we are close."

"I thought you must be pretty close." Maizie answered. "You two seem to communicate without saying a word. That's a great thing to have with someone you love."

Dean could feel a slight blush running up his cheeks. He’d have to be more careful with this one. She was very observant. He looked closely at Maizie, wondering what she suspected. Maizie never took her eyes off of what she was doing. 

"My son and his best friend could communicate like that." Maizie continued after a minute. "Those two were inseparable. They had so much love between them." She paused and seemed to look a little sad, then she said, "Ah well! Enough about that!"

Dean looked at her again, wondering what had happened to her son. She seemed like such a happy woman, but the thoughts of her son had made her melancholy. 

"Are you okay?" Dean asked quietly. 

"Yeah," she huffed. "Just memories and stuff that can’t be changed no matter how hard I try. Nothing a delicious meal can't solve, right?"

"Sure." Dean answered. He could recognize when someone else was burying something painful. He certainly had done it often enough. He really liked Maizie and didn't want to push, so he followed her lead. "What's next?"

"That bottle of wine needs to be opened." She said with a determined air. "And we're just the folks to do it!"

Dean grinned at her. "Well, let's get that sucker!"

After looking around the kitchen for a minute, Maizie called for Tom to come and help. Turns out she couldn't find the corkscrew. Tom came back in to give them a hand, but then seemed to get flustered and left abruptly. Dean felt like he had done something wrong, and Sam seemed perplexed.

"Did I say something?" Dean asked, slightly ruffled. He glanced at Sam and saw that he was confused as well.

"No, son." Maizie sighed. "I think you remind him of someone. Someone he loved, but never understood. I think it makes him a little bit sad."

"Oh." Dean answered. "I'm sorry."

"Nothin' you could help or know about." Maizie answered. "Why don't you boys head on into the dining room? I'll start bringin' the food in. That will give Tom a minute to pull himself together."

"Can we help you carry?" Sam offered. "We would love to help."

"You are so sweet!" Maizie said reaching up to touch Sam's cheek. "Thank you, son!"

She began directing the boys as to which item to carry and sent them on their way to the dining room. She followed behind them with her own hands full. Sam and Dean made their way to the table and sat their dishes on it. They chose seats across from each other at the small table and settled in to wait. When Maizie didn't immediately follow them, Dean raised his eyebrows at Sam. Sam responded by shrugging his shoulders. Sam then mouthed the words "love you" at Dean who responded by grinning, motioning toward himself as if to say "why wouldn't you," and winking suggestively at Sam. Sam snickered.

Sam was trying to make up for his earlier mistake. It looked like Dean was past it already anyway. Sam's laugh was one of relief as well as humor. Dean was irrepressible. Sam found his put on confidence adorable. He knew that Dean still harbored doubts about his self-worth. He was still working on convincing Dean how amazing he was.

Maizie entered the room carrying two serving dishes, followed by Tom with the bottle of wine. Tom seemed to be fine, so the boys let it go. As they began serving up and eating, the small talk began. The usual questions came up and were answered satisfactorily. Dean covered the topic of what they did for a living with grace and aplomb. Sam had stumbled over his answer earlier when Tom had brought the topic up. Everyone seemed to enjoy the conversation and the food was amazing.

Occasionally when they shifted positions, Sam or Dean would nudge the other one’s foot or leg under the table. Of course, above the table everything looked normal and not the least bit off kilter. Once, Dean caught Sam’s eye while Maizie and Tom were looking away and licked his lips suggestively. Sam’s breath caught and he started coughing, causing Maizie to pat him on the back and ask if everything was okay. Dean just smiled.

***

After dinner, everyone made their way outside to watch the stars for a little while and let their food digest. As Sam and Dean settled beside each other on the bench seat, they left little room between them. Dean placed his hand on the bench between them and began to stroke Sam's outer thigh with his pinky. He felt like he hadn't touched Sam in days instead of the hour or so they had been here. He was overcome with a feeling of need suddenly. And then Sam started talking.

"We wanted to thank you both for inviting us over tonight." Sam said softly, not wanting to disturb the peace around him. "We don't get to just visit with people that often. It has been a very nice change for us."

Dean nodded his head agreeing with Sam and mumbled something in agreement. He turned his hand over on the seat so his palm was facing up. Then he slid his hand under Sam's thigh. He felt a tremor run through Sam's leg. Dean didn’t know what was coming over him, but he felt distant from Sam. He needed to touch him.

"Well, that's just a shame." Maizie said. "You two are really sweet boys. You need to be able to get a chance to know people."

Dean smiled at her. He was thinking back to what she had said in the kitchen earlier and wondered what she would say if she knew all about Sam and him. If she would still think of them as sweet boys. He was beginning to feel a bit melancholy. He wanted to be able to tell everyone that he and Sam were together. He wanted to be able to flaunt the fact that someone as amazing as Sam was his. He wanted to claim Sam out loud, but not in a territorial, caveman sort of way. More of an "I'm proud to call him mine" kind of way. He just wanted to be able to let everyone know that they were together and happy. He had gotten lost in his thoughts and suddenly Sam was up and moving away from him. He realized what was happening and called after Sam to be sure and save a piece of pie for Maggie.

Sam waved in acknowledgement and followed Maizie into the kitchen with a huge smile on his face. Dean was such an interesting mix of hard and soft. Sam chuckled at the thought of calling Dean soft, but he was. For all the bluster and show he put on for other people, Dean was the most thoughtful, caring, gentle, selfless person Sam had ever known. Yes, he could be a jerk. He was skilled at that for sure, but underneath it all Dean was so kind and sensitive. That's exactly why he blustered and punched out at a world that could be so unfair and violent in return.

"So, Sam!" Maizie spoke and broke Sam out of his thoughts. "How are you doing?"

"I'm good, Ms. Maizie." Sam smiled in return. "Real good."

"I'm glad to hear it." She smiled back. "That Dean is a special one, isn't he?"

"Yes, ma'am!" Sam shyly looked down. "I don't know what I would do without him, honestly."

"Yeah, he said you two were pretty close. It seems like you two really care about each other." Maizie busied herself with making the coffee. She continued to talk without looking back up at Sam. "My son Mike... the one Dean reminds Tom of... he had a really close friend when he was growing up. You two kinda remind me of them. Of Mike and Andrew."

"Well, I get that. Dean is my best friend, too. You want me to go ahead and cut the pie?"

"Sure." Maizie answered finding a knife and laying it on the table for Sam. "Yeah, those two boys were always together. Couldn't see one without the other one in his shadow. Just like you two, I imagine."

"Yeah, that sounds right." Sam chuckled. He picked up the knife and listened as he worked on cutting the pie. "What happened?"

"Well, like I said, they grew up together. Inseparable. Even when their interests pushed at them from different directions. Mike was an athlete. Andrew was a brain. But they always made time for each other. They kept each other safe. When they got to high school, it became obvious to me that there was more there between them than just friendship. I could tell that they were in love with one another." Maizie paused, looking into the distance. She smiled a sad smile then and shook her head.

"Ms. Maizie?" Sam asked gently. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Well..." She started, leaning against the counter. "Mike came to me one day during his Senior year of high school. He sat me down and told me that he and Andrew were a couple. They were in love, and they planned to be together when they went to college. They planned to go to the same school and room together. He asked me for my acceptance. I held his hand and told him that I had already figured out that the two of them were together and that if that was what they wanted, I'd support their decision. I told him that I couldn't imagine anyone taking better care of each other than the two of them." Maizie stopped and wiped a stray tear off her cheek. "He never told Tom."

"Oh!" Sam said. "Did you ever say anything?"

"No," Maizie said sadly. "That wasn't my truth to tell. I wasn't going to break a confidence."

Sam nodded. He had finished cutting the pie, and he placed the knife back on the table. He moved to the counter and leaned against it. "What happened next?"

Maizie took a deep breath and continued.

"Mike called me one day out of the blue from college. He and Andrew had gotten what they called commitment rings. They had promised each other that they would be together always and they bought the rings to signify that. Mike was so excited about it! He sounded so happy that day. I told him that I was happy for them, and I told him to hold onto a good thing while he had it. To never let it go. He laughed and told me that wouldn't be a problem."

Maizie paused and crossed her arms over her chest as a tear slid down her cheek. She bowed her head and shook it. Sam moved to stand beside her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"You don't have to tell me, Ms. Maizie." He said softly. "If it hurts too much."

"No!" Maizie said lifting her head and looking at Sam. "I need to talk about it. I've kept it to myself for so long. I couldn't ever talk to anyone about it."

"Okay." Sam gentled, his heart aching for this sweet woman and her burden. "I'm here. Please talk about whatever you need."

"Things didn't stay that happy for them. During their Senior year, again, they had a falling out. I think it started out as a disagreement with where they would go after graduation. Mike wanted to move to a small town somewhere and live a quiet life. Andrew wanted to move to Chicago and live openly in a larger city. It grew from there. Andrew accused Mike of being ashamed of him, of them. Mike said that wasn't the case. He just liked to live in quieter surroundings. It moved off into other directions from there. I think they ended up bringing up all the hurt and pain they had had over their many years together and just let it all fly. Never a good idea!”

Sam huffed out an agreement and nodded encouragingly for her to continue.

"Anyway, Mike got really angry one night and stormed out of the apartment. He ended up at a gay bar. He said he didn't know what made him go there, but he had always been curious. He ended up getting drunk, picking up a stranger, and going home with him."

Sam hissed a breath in. He rubbed his hand down Maizie's arm.

"It was a stupid, reckless thing to do!" Maizie bit out. "I was so angry with him when he told me. I was so disappointed in him. I thought I had taught him better than that. You don't treat people you love like that."

Sam grunted in agreement. He was so thankful that once he and Dean had let the walls down that they made the promise to each other that it would always just be the two of them. That what had happened in the past just stayed in the past. No recriminations about what had happened before. Dean was still a terrible flirt, but Sam never had any doubts about Dean. He knew where Dean was all of the time, and he just knew that Dean would never hurt him like that.

"When Andrew found out about it, he left Mike. Moved out of the apartment. Mike was devastated. He knew that he had screwed up, but he couldn't get Andrew to listen to him. Andrew was just done." Maizie shook her head again and looked up at Sam with tears in her eyes. "Mike gave up after just a few weeks. He stopped trying. He didn't feel like he was worth Andrew's forgiveness. So he just stopped trying.”

“Oh! Ms. Maizie that’s awful.” Sam said softly.

"A few weeks later, he made the decision to join the military. He was going to go in as an officer after graduation. He wanted to 'do his penance' he said. He told me that he needed to do something selfless, something worthwhile. If Andrew wouldn't forgive him, he needed to balance out his wrongs in the world.

"Not long after Mike went off to Boot Camp, we got a call from Andrew's parents. He had gone on to Chicago like he wanted, but he wasn't happy either. He had gone out one night and gotten drunk and then decided to drive himself home. He crashed on the way and died on the scene."

Sam gasped. He felt a heavy weight settle into the pit of his stomach. He knew what guilt felt like and could exactly imagine how Mike would respond to this news. He braced himself for the rest of the story. Maizie took a deep breath and continued.

"Andrew's parents said they needed Mike's current address. Andrew had left something of his for Mike, and they wanted to send it straight to him. I asked if I could tell Mike about Andrew's death before they sent the package and they agreed. I called him. It took a while to get a call through. The military doesn’t like to disrupt their recruits in Boot Camp." Maizie paused again and fought to control her emotions. After a minute she continued. "When I told him, he broke. I've never heard anyone in that much pain before in my life. It nearly killed me! I was so far away from him, and I couldn't offer him any comfort. I asked him to please go get some counseling. He said he would. I don't know if he ever did. 

"He got the package a few days later. It was Andrew's commitment ring. Mike took a picture of Andrew's ring on his finger right next to his own and sent it to us. That broke my heart when we got that email. I just knew what would happen next, but I couldn't get to him. I couldn't get a call in either." Maizie stopped and took a hitching breath. Sam quietly rubbed her arm, encouraging her to finally get it all out. "Mike was training to be a munitions officer, and they were doing explosives training. During a routine exercise, Mike walked straight into the danger zone. He got hit in the chest with shrapnel when the explosives went off, and he died that same day. His friend Dex told me that Mike just kept apologizing and saying that it was all his fault. Kept saying he didn't expect to be forgiven. Dex said it was like he was talking to someone else. Someone no one else there could see. Sam! He took his own life because he wasn't ever going to be able to say he was sorry and be forgiven."

Sam reached gently around Maizie's shoulders and held her while she sobbed into his chest. After years of holding it all, she let go. Sam felt grateful that she was able to finally get that weight off of her chest and that she trusted him enough to share it with him. He gently stroked her back until she began to quiet down. 

"Sorry!" She mumbled. "So sorry!"

"There is nothing to apologize for." Sam whispered. He wiped his own eyes and brushed his hand against his leg. "Nothing at all."

"You and Dean just seem like such wonderful young men. And I hope that the two of you will continue to take care of each other. When you love someone, you need to take care of them. You need to let them know how much you love them. And you need to not get bogged down by the crap that doesn’t matter."

"Yes, ma'am." Sam answered giving her one more squeeze before letting go. "Thank you for sharing your story with me. I'm honored that you let me in."

Maizie laughed. "Yes, I'm sure that's exactly what you were prepared for when I invited you to dinner tonight." She gently smacked Sam in the chest and said, "Thank you for letting me talk about it. I needed that."

"No problem. Thank you for trusting me." Sam answered. "Now how about we let the other two know that the pie and coffee are ready."

Maizie said sure and then took a deep breath. After she wiped her eyes again, she headed for the front door to call to Dean and Tom.

When Tom came inside, he told Sam that Dean needed to talk to him. Sam looked confused for a second then made his way outside. Dean was standing in the moonlight, looking out toward the lake. His shoulders were slumped forward and his head was hanging forward. He looked so sad and alone standing there like that. Sam was instantly worried about him and jogged over to wrap him in a hug.

"What is it?" Sam asked softly. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sorry." Dean whispered. He stood with his arms hanging at his sides, his forehead against Sam's breastbone. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" Sam asked. "What's going on?"

"I don't tell you enough. I don't say it out loud. And I'm sorry." Dean mumbled. He looked up at Sam and then said, "I love you, Sammy!"

"I know that, Dean. I know." Sam said in return. "It's okay."

Dean dropped his face back down into Sam's chest. "Knowing it and hearing it are two different things, Sammy!"

"Yeah," Sam answered, bringing his hand up to place it on the back of Dean's head. He gently ran his palm over his brother's neck. "You're right. They are."

"And I want to be sure you hear it. From me."

"I do hear it from you, Dean. Every time you call me 'Bitch' I hear 'I love you'. Isn't that what you mean?"

"Well, yeah." Dean huffed. "But it isn't the same thing, and you know it."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "But Dean. I know you have trouble with that kind of thing. But you show me how much you love me every day. All of the little things you do. It's okay."

"No, Sam." Dean moaned. "It isn't okay. I love you so much. And today you told me how much you loved me and I didn't say it back. All I did was thank you. God! What an arrogant ass!"

"Dean?" Sam said softly, tears running down his cheeks. "What brought this on?"

"When I mentioned Maggie earlier, Tom told me what happened to her. And it sucked. People shouldn’t treat people like her that way.”

“What happened?”

“She was dating this guy, and she really cared about him. He cheated on her. When she caught him, he said she was a placeholder until he found someone better. That he never loved her at all.”

“What a dick!” Sam fussed.

“That’s what I said,” Dean huffed. “She is so cool! Why would someone treat her like that? And then Tom just told me about his son Mike and Mike's boyfriend. But I don't think Tom knows that he was Mike's boyfriend. I think he just thought they were friends, but..."

"Yeah," Sam interrupted. "Maizie told me the whole story, too."

"Sam," Dean sobbed. "I love you so much! And I don't want to lose you. I want you to know that I don't take you for granted."

"Shh! Dean, it's okay." Sam soothed rubbing Dean's back. "It's okay."

"No, Sammy!" Dean moaned. "Let me say this." He lifted his face to look into Sam's eyes. He noted the tears sliding down Sam's cheeks and sighed heavily. "You mean the world to me, Sammy. You are the most important thing in the entire world. You make each day worth living. If you weren't here, I'd go crazy. I have, in fact, gone crazy a few times because you weren't around. I need you. I want you. I love you. And I will never let you go or hurt you. You told me earlier that if I stopped, you would, too. That's exactly how I feel 'cuz there ain't no me if there ain't no you. I don't want you to ever doubt that. I can't lose you. I can't!"

Dean lowered his face to Sam's chest again and continued to sob. Sam wrapped both arms around his brother and kissed the top of his head. He stroked Dean's back softly and let Dean release the tension. When he felt Dean's shaking begin to taper off, he softly said, "Dean? Look at me?"

Dean lifted his face, and Sam could see how wet Dean's cheeks were. He could see the pain and fear in Dean's eyes. He gently wiped Dean's tears away with his thumbs and then leaned in and placed a soft kiss to Dean's mouth.

"I'm not going anywhere." He whispered. "I'm not going anywhere, Dean. I love you. I know that you love me. I'm right where I want to be, and I'm not going anywhere."

Dean surged forward onto his toes to reach Sam's mouth again and kissed him with everything he had. He had his hands wrapped around Sam's waist and then one hand was in Sam's hair. He pulled away to look into Sam's eyes again and saw nothing but love and adoration. He kissed Sam again and then broke away from him. He lifted both hands to Sam's face and looked him right in the eyes one last time.

"I... love... you. With all my heart and all of my soul. You are my life."

"See? I told you that you're a romantic!" Sam laughed, kissing Dean on the tip of his nose. Dean smiled up at him and then wiped his cheeks off again as Sam said, "Let's get inside before they think we ran away. Pie and ice cream, man!"

Sam grabbed Dean's hand and tugged him toward the house. Dean shuffled along behind, trying to get himself completely under control.

"Hey Dean?" Sam whispered before heading up the stairs to the door. "I think Maizie knows about us."

"Yup," Dean answered. "Me too."

Sam turned to smile at his brother and then opened the back door. He kept Dean's hand in his own and walked confidently into the kitchen. Maizie smiled at them both and beckoned them inside. She never even blinked when she noticed that they were holding hands. If anything, it just made her smile even wider and more intensely.

"Boys!" She said. "Come on in! We need to wait just a second for Tom. He had to excuse himself. He should be right back."

"No problem!" Sam smiled.

"No worries!" Dean smiled. 

They made their way to the counter beside the refrigerator and leaned against it side-by-side. Sam put his hand on Dean's lower back briefly and then lowered his hand to the countertop. Maizie just looked into their faces and grinned.

"I'm really happy." She said. "You boys are so sweet!"

"Thank you, Ms. Maizie" Dean rumbled, just the slightest bit embarrassed. "We're happy, too."

When Tom walked back in, Dean could feel Tom’s eyes on himself and Sam. He looked up and watched as thoughts seemed to drift across Tom's face. Dean could see Tom's confusion. Then it turned to thoughtfulness. Then realization, followed quickly by paleness and shock. He watched as Tom swayed on his feet and then thumped down into the nearest chair. Dean glanced at Sam who seemed to be wearing the same expression Dean felt on his own face.

Dean glanced at Maizie and saw her nod. Then he began moving toward Tom with his hand reaching out to steady the older man. Sam moved with Dean and hovered behind his brother's back. He reached out and placed his hand in the small of Dean's back, letting Dean know that he was right behind him.

"Tom!" Dean gasped out. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah!" Tom responded breathlessly. "I'm good." He reached up and patted the younger man's hand where it rested on his shoulder. "I'm good. Let's eat some pie!"

"You sure, Tom? We can wait if you need a minute." Sam said from his place behind Dean.

"No, no!" Tom spluttered. "I've taken too much time as it is."

Sam watched in confusion as Maizie moved toward Tom and gave him a huge hug. Dean stood up and backed out of the way, watching Maizie kiss Tom on the head. Both boys were trying to figure out if this had something to do with them. Dean caught Sam's eye, and Sam shrugged in response.

"Let's just sit here in the kitchen, boys!" Maizie said with a smile. "I think Tom is good right where he is." 

She looked at both boys with eyes full of hope. The boys looked back at her with a hint of confusion in their eyes. She tilted her head to the side and winked at them. Dean grinned and nodded. Sam reached out to Dean and brushed his fingertips along the inside of Dean's wrist. He tapped his index finger on Dean's palm and then reached for a cup to pour some coffee into.

Sam continued to pour until they had enough coffee, and Dean handed the cups around the table. As they settled around the table, Dean pulled Sam's chair closer to himself, and grinned mischievously up at Sam. Sam sprawled into the chair with his leg against Dean's. After a minute, he dropped his hand onto Dean's thigh and squeezed gently.

Dean looked down at his plate and grinned. He had waited far too long for this. Sammy's Famous Sour Cream Apple Pie! He looked over at his brother and smiled, a real, eye-twinkling, nose-wrinkling kind of smile. Sam smiled back at him, and this time Sam was the one with the suggestive wink.


End file.
